ugh...

Last week I posted about my depression and anxiety. It's gotten slightly better, but not entirely. I did talk to my doctor last week and she got me back on my medicine. They haven't really worked yet, which will be about next week. So we'll see how things go. Things this week have just been off. Tuesday: I didn't sleep at all that night. I haven't been sleeping well at all lately. It's been going on for the past 3-4 weeks now. I've been waking up in the middle of the night burping and crap. It's not fun AT ALL. Sooo Tuesday afternoon I went to my doctor and talked with him about it. He told me to schedule an Upper GI appointment, and also get a sleep study done. So I made the GI appointment. Wednesday morning: Chest pain that went down to my stomach and back up again; trouble breathing, chills. Went to the ER. They gave me a GI cocktail, which had lydacane (not sure how to spell it), maalox, and some other stuff. But it numbed my throat and coated my stomach. Then they shot me up with ativan - the best shit in the world - it's a muscle relaxer. They said it could be acid reflux, but didn't give me anything for it. So they told me to go ahead and get the upper gi test. I got that done yesterday morning. Then went to work. This morning. Oh my gosh...woke up with horrible stomach pains. I don't even know what time it was, because I didn't have my glasses on. I just know that I was getting sick in the bathroom, and my mom found me this morning asleep on the bathroom floor. Yay...not really. I didn't have a fever, but I was in pain. I'm still in some pain, but not as much as I was. I called my doctor, left a message for her, and then she called me back and gave me something for it. GOD someone finally gave me SOMETHING so I don't have all this acid in me! It's uncomfortable and I really, really hate it! I just have to stay away from acidic foods, which is gonna be so hard for me...no pizza...NO HOAGIES! I love hoagies, they are my absolute favorite thing in the world to eat! :: cries :: Ugh....I'm sure I'll be able to eat them eventually...but I can't right now and it SUCKS!!

I know. I'm rambling. Oye. But it's just...hard!

Suffering....

I don't know what's been going on with me lately. I've been feeling like I just don't want to do anything. I don't want to work, I don't want to do anything. I'm unhappy, and, honestly, I think I need to be back on my medicine. I think that will make a big difference if I start back up on the medicine so I don't feel so lousy all the time.

I don't feel lousy all the time, but I'm just not feeling like me. I've couped myself up in my room, because I just don't want to do anything anymore. And that's...not right.

I need to talk to my doctor.