I don't know why, but my mind seems to come alive at night. The silence awakens something inside and the words just flow out. It's the calmness of the night that allows me to think clearly on the day, or whatever can be on my mind.
Things have escalated the past week. I started talking to a guy. He's...amazing. We haven't met in person, but the way we talk on the phone makes me feel like we've known each other for a long time. I know, I know. With my history of meeting people over the internet...I shouldn't do it again. I know. Honestly, I didn't think I was going to even meet someone through the dating site I joined. I really didn't, and I haven't been on it for even a month yet. We talked for so long on the phone...twice we've done that, and well, we get along. We mesh, which is definitely a good thing. We talked about anything and everything, and it was nice to have someone like that for a change. There are so many things that have conspired between the two of us, that we've already had a few serious discussions. Well, one big one. It was a bit heart breaking at first, but I came to the realization that I hadn't even met this man in person yet and I was getting upset about it. Why was I getting upset about it in the first place? Perhaps it's because I was so excited that he and I were able to even talk about such a thing and we're so into each other - we make each other laugh, and we're just. He and I are friends right now. I can tell you that much. It's just, the discussion we had made me think really hard on so many different levels. I've had to question myself, and seek advice. But yet again, I had to stop myself because I've only known the guy a week. A week. Why am I rocketing myself into something that hasn't even left the ground yet? I don't understand why I do that, but I have come to the conclusion that I shouldn't think so hard into things when there's nothing to be done about it yet. I haven't met him in person; therefore, I cannot make any concrete decisions. But...what's the harm in talking about it with friends and getting their advice? No harm, really.
Oye. I just have a lot on my plate right now. SO much to do, AND to top it all off. I have, tonight, come up with a room to-do list. Yes. For those that have seen the depths of my azurean room, you know that it's catastrophic. For an entire month I have been working 7 days straight, and hadn't caught a break. And now that I'm back to working six days a week, I have Sundays off. Now. I've compiled a list that I need to get done with my room. And I'm praying. PRAYING. That I'll be able to get it done. I have to. It's mandatory. I know it'll be incredibly hard, but...in the end - it'll be worth it.
The thing that really got me thinking about cleaning MY room is the show, "Clean House". I watch the show incessantly. I've watched and really would love for my room to be organized and not for it to be the cluttered chaos that it is now. I have too many shirts -- I have to admit I'm a shirt horder. I love the vintage tees from Hot Topic, and have a few. So I have to get a few out. I have to get storage containers. I have to get my DVDs organzied, too. Closet. Clothes. Desk. Bookshelf. So much to do. I have to get it done, and I know I'll feel like I have accomplished something when I have gotten it done! I just have to get it all done in increments.
Pray for me while I attempt to clean my cluttered chaos, and aim for clean happiness...and a happy room.
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