It's been a couple weeks since my last posting and I feel terrible about it. I've had SO much drama going on that I've completely lacked in the diet/work out department. So I'm going to tell my story, because I want to put it out and away.
Back in Sept./Oct., I found out about the Mansfield event that Darkness Radio was going to be having in March 2012. And I instantly wanted to go. I was talking to a friend about it and she said she would get the tickets for us both to go. She said she did...but after asking countless times (for months) for the confirmation email so we can get the hotel and all...nothing. I can understand that people go through things, but if you're going to tell someone that you're going to do something...do it. Apparently, from what she said, she put the tickets on her mom's card and her mom freaked, and then she was going to have them switch it all or whatever. I honestly got incredibly confused as to what the hell she was saying...but seriously, why was she using her mom's credit card anyway? And so a little over a week ago I contacted Darkness Radio about it and all. Said she had never bought tickets. My friend said she put them under her mom's name. Why? I have no freaking idea, but it made me realize that she's just pulling my leg. She's really making it out for her to just get attention it seemed. It was a complete mess. HUGE. And so last Tuesday I got an email from Darkness Radio events saying because of the circumstances and to help you all out, she sent me an invoice for a ticket and my friend. Now my friend told me she was going to give me her card info so I can get it via Paypal on Wednesday. This is after I completely lost it and was crying my eyes out to the point that I felt like I couldn't breath. And say what you want, but that's no way a friend treats a friend. You don't go and say you did something and leave it up in the air for someone to guess. She left me in the dark about everything. Didn't forward me any of the emails she originally got. I was beyond pissed. I was fuming. I had my heart set on meeting Aaron (from Ghost Adventures), Big Stepping with him and go ghost hunting with him. But I won't be able to now and that really sucks. But, Wednesday came and my friend never showed. So I told the lady at Darkness Radio to give my ticket away and thanked her for the opportunity, but with all the drama I couldn't go. My heart literally sank. I was not happy because I wanted to go to the Mansfield event.
Thankfully, Janice came along. She know who she is. She told me about the Gettysburg event that's a week before the event at Mansfield. I looked at the site and turns out EVERYONE that's going to Mansfield will be at Gettysburg the week before....except Aaron Goodwin. But on that day a door closed and another one opened. I'm now going to be going to the Gettysburg event with Janice and a few other people. And I get to meet all these AMAZING people that I've been wanting to meet! Like, Dave Schrader, Jeff Belanger, Patrick Fleming, Mark & Debbie Constantino, Patrick Burns and more. It's just awesome and Janice seriously made me feel ten times better than I was. So thank you to Janice on that part.
As for the whole weight/diet/working out, it's hard for me right now. I'm going to keep doing my best. It's just really hard working two jobs. And all I want to do when I come home is sit and just relax. I work 40hrs at one job, then part time at the other. I'm not complaining, but it's just hard. I need to find a balance in what works for me so I can get that working out going again. It's not going to be easy, but I'm not giving up! :)
Monday, January 23, 2012
Saturday, December 31, 2011
The Wrath
One thing I completely forgot about is how insanely sore you are after your first work out. I'm feeling it still. I didn't get to work out yesterday cause I was up at 6:45 to be at work by 8 and I didn't get done til 5. I had to pick up a gift, go home, change and went to a work party that I didn't get home from til 10pm. Not only did I miss all of the Ghost Adventures marathon they do every Friday, but I was exhausted. I came home and sat in front of the computer checking things over. I turned everything off and read my book til 12:30am. Not smart, with how early I was up. But I woke up this morning at 10am. Turns out getting 9 1/2 hours does the body good!
Another thing I've come to find is SELF magazine. I had gotten it only because Jillian was on the cover. (Yes, I do love Jillian Michaels - she's amazing). And I read through it and really liked it. Unlike Cosmo, which is out to get you to buy expensive make up to cover up the blemishes and all, Self is out there to get you healthy. Nearly on every page there's something about fitness, about what you can do to better yourself. Not to apply layers upon layers of makeup, but to help YOU get to be where YOU want to be. In the end, I got myself a subscription for SELF magazine, because of how much I liked it. As much as I used to like Cosmo, I really really like Self. I would highly suggest getting a copy of Self and see for yourself what it's about. I mean, magazines aren't made for everyone. It's what suits you that matters most, and I find that in SELF they offer that to everyone that wants to lose it.
During this whole time I've had this blog, never once did I feel like I been rambling on. I've really enjoyed talking about these kinds of things. Putting my ideas out there, whether people read them or not, they're there, and I honestly love it.
So what's on the agenda for today???
Another thing I've come to find is SELF magazine. I had gotten it only because Jillian was on the cover. (Yes, I do love Jillian Michaels - she's amazing). And I read through it and really liked it. Unlike Cosmo, which is out to get you to buy expensive make up to cover up the blemishes and all, Self is out there to get you healthy. Nearly on every page there's something about fitness, about what you can do to better yourself. Not to apply layers upon layers of makeup, but to help YOU get to be where YOU want to be. In the end, I got myself a subscription for SELF magazine, because of how much I liked it. As much as I used to like Cosmo, I really really like Self. I would highly suggest getting a copy of Self and see for yourself what it's about. I mean, magazines aren't made for everyone. It's what suits you that matters most, and I find that in SELF they offer that to everyone that wants to lose it.
During this whole time I've had this blog, never once did I feel like I been rambling on. I've really enjoyed talking about these kinds of things. Putting my ideas out there, whether people read them or not, they're there, and I honestly love it.
So what's on the agenda for today???
- Clean a bit
- Get a Jillian Michaels workout on
- Eat some yummies
- Go out and spend some of my gift cards
- Enjoy my new years!
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Don't Phone It In!
Yesterday my journey of losing weight. Today is the first day of many. I worked out for the FIRST time in a LONG time. It was amazing. I really forgot how much energy you have to give to work out. I haven't felt good like that in a LONG time. I've been wanting to be more mobile, as I said in yesterday's blog. But today was different. I struggled to get out of bed. I struggled with my insides screaming at me to go back to bed for another half an hour. But my mind won. I got out of bed, got into my Target bought workout clothes and put the work out dvd on. I worked out with Jillian Michaels with her "Ripped in 30" dvd. I also have a few other ones, but Ripped in 30 is my new favorite. She bases her system on the "3-2-1" system mixing cardio, strength and abs.
This is what I need. I need the variety, which is why I've always loved Jillian and her style of workout. This one is 4 weeks. And the great thing about this workout is that in each circuit, it's different. If you do push ups in one of the circuits, that's the ONLY time you see them in the work out. It's variety, which is key for me, because if it's the same thing over and over and over again, I get bored very easily. This is probably why I've gotten her other DVDs so that I can keep it varied. I also have her "30 Day Shred", "No More Trouble Zones" and her yoga one (which I find is insanely hard to do!). I know she has a new workout DVD on the market, so I'm definitely going to be checking that out, too. All I've been talking about is working out with Jillian! But that's good! I know she comes off as being a hard ass, but if you do her workouts, she gives you encouragement through-out it all. She just wants us to do well and be fit.
At the end of week 1 workout (which you do for 7 days to build yourself up), she states, "Some people don't show up in their own lives. They go through life day in and day out and don't show up." And I believe her. There are people that go through life wishing and hoping that things will get better and change, but nothing happens. Why? Because they don't do anything to change it for themselves. And I really do not want to be like that. I don't want to not show up for my life. I want to live it day in and day out with the people I love while doing the things that I love most. It's not going to be easy. No one ever said it would be, so if you've been told that - don't believe it. Life is going to throw you a lot of curveballs, and it's up to you to dodge them.
Until next time.
(For more on Jillian and her workouts, check out her website! Jillian Michaels )
(borrowed picture from Amazon)
This is what I need. I need the variety, which is why I've always loved Jillian and her style of workout. This one is 4 weeks. And the great thing about this workout is that in each circuit, it's different. If you do push ups in one of the circuits, that's the ONLY time you see them in the work out. It's variety, which is key for me, because if it's the same thing over and over and over again, I get bored very easily. This is probably why I've gotten her other DVDs so that I can keep it varied. I also have her "30 Day Shred", "No More Trouble Zones" and her yoga one (which I find is insanely hard to do!). I know she has a new workout DVD on the market, so I'm definitely going to be checking that out, too. All I've been talking about is working out with Jillian! But that's good! I know she comes off as being a hard ass, but if you do her workouts, she gives you encouragement through-out it all. She just wants us to do well and be fit.
At the end of week 1 workout (which you do for 7 days to build yourself up), she states, "Some people don't show up in their own lives. They go through life day in and day out and don't show up." And I believe her. There are people that go through life wishing and hoping that things will get better and change, but nothing happens. Why? Because they don't do anything to change it for themselves. And I really do not want to be like that. I don't want to not show up for my life. I want to live it day in and day out with the people I love while doing the things that I love most. It's not going to be easy. No one ever said it would be, so if you've been told that - don't believe it. Life is going to throw you a lot of curveballs, and it's up to you to dodge them.
Until next time.
(For more on Jillian and her workouts, check out her website! Jillian Michaels )
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
A fresh start.
With so many things that have been going on in my life, with having switching part time jobs from Hallmark to a Bookstore (that I'm completely in love with), there's one thing that I'm not entirely pleased with. That's my weight. This isn't the first time I've tried to lose weight. But today, I want to share my journey and how far I've come in the past few years.
It was the summer of 2008 when I first really gained the weight. I was engaged at the time to a guy who had a job working security at the local casino. He worked nights and wasn't happy, so he interviewed for another job and put his two weeks notice in at that casino. It wasn't a smart idea, since the place he was going to work at didn't call him. Upon telling him to call, repeatedly, he finally caved in after weeks of saying, "Oh they'll call me." Turns out when he did call, they had forgotten about him. This was June 2008. Over the next two months, he didn't have a job. It was also during this time that I became incredibly unhappy with him and how everything was going. We ate Wawa pretty much ALL the time. (For those that don't know what Wawa is, it's a PA, NJ, DE, MD thing. (www.wawa.com) It's a great small market that I've grown up my entire life and have always loved it. But during that summer is when I gained all that weight. My highest was at 232lbs. I was not happy and everyone around me new it, but me. I was in denial and dove into food to make it better when it just made me incredibly unhealthy.
It wasn't until that October where I realized how unhealthy I was. The owner of the horse stables that I rode at pulled me aside and said that I had to lose the weight or else I couldn't ride. It made me really sad. I had done a number to my body by getting that heavy. I didn't know where to start. A few of my coworkers were doing Weight Watchers, so I tried it out. Within the next four months, I lost 40lbs. I had cut out all that wawa that I was eating and ate things that were more healthy for me. I weighed between 192-195 by the end of February 2009. I tried to get it down more, but it was hard to do that. I didn't have the drive to do it.
This past summer, the 2011 PA Renaissance Faire started up again for its 31st year. I was more than overjoyed with that. It was then with all that walking I did, going there every single weekend (sometimes for both Saturday and Sunday), I was feeling more fit. I felt a lot better. At the end of the season, I got down to 178. I had dropped 10lbs in 3 months 'cause of all the walking and drinking lots of water. And now that I look at it, I know I can get it down more. With it getting colder out, I don't get to have a lot of resources, because joining a gym is too expensive for me right now. So with that said, I have a few things that I will be doing. I have workout dvds from Jillian Michaels that I'll be doing. I also have her Wii Fit game that I'll be pulling out again as well.
It feels odd to share this story with strangers, but I only hope that with me doing this I can gain some more perspective on my life. I don't want to be a lazy bones and not be active more. I'm done using excuses of me being too tired because of work (mainly since I work with children). But that's more of a reason to get fit so I can be more active and do my body right by being healthy.
I don't know about me posting what I eat as I know what I have to cut out. I know what I have to do and in order to do that, I just need to find that momentum and stick with it.
So watch out world! I will still be me, but a new looking me will be heading your way!!
It was the summer of 2008 when I first really gained the weight. I was engaged at the time to a guy who had a job working security at the local casino. He worked nights and wasn't happy, so he interviewed for another job and put his two weeks notice in at that casino. It wasn't a smart idea, since the place he was going to work at didn't call him. Upon telling him to call, repeatedly, he finally caved in after weeks of saying, "Oh they'll call me." Turns out when he did call, they had forgotten about him. This was June 2008. Over the next two months, he didn't have a job. It was also during this time that I became incredibly unhappy with him and how everything was going. We ate Wawa pretty much ALL the time. (For those that don't know what Wawa is, it's a PA, NJ, DE, MD thing. (www.wawa.com) It's a great small market that I've grown up my entire life and have always loved it. But during that summer is when I gained all that weight. My highest was at 232lbs. I was not happy and everyone around me new it, but me. I was in denial and dove into food to make it better when it just made me incredibly unhealthy.
(A picture of me in July 2008)
It wasn't until that October where I realized how unhealthy I was. The owner of the horse stables that I rode at pulled me aside and said that I had to lose the weight or else I couldn't ride. It made me really sad. I had done a number to my body by getting that heavy. I didn't know where to start. A few of my coworkers were doing Weight Watchers, so I tried it out. Within the next four months, I lost 40lbs. I had cut out all that wawa that I was eating and ate things that were more healthy for me. I weighed between 192-195 by the end of February 2009. I tried to get it down more, but it was hard to do that. I didn't have the drive to do it.
This past summer, the 2011 PA Renaissance Faire started up again for its 31st year. I was more than overjoyed with that. It was then with all that walking I did, going there every single weekend (sometimes for both Saturday and Sunday), I was feeling more fit. I felt a lot better. At the end of the season, I got down to 178. I had dropped 10lbs in 3 months 'cause of all the walking and drinking lots of water. And now that I look at it, I know I can get it down more. With it getting colder out, I don't get to have a lot of resources, because joining a gym is too expensive for me right now. So with that said, I have a few things that I will be doing. I have workout dvds from Jillian Michaels that I'll be doing. I also have her Wii Fit game that I'll be pulling out again as well.
It feels odd to share this story with strangers, but I only hope that with me doing this I can gain some more perspective on my life. I don't want to be a lazy bones and not be active more. I'm done using excuses of me being too tired because of work (mainly since I work with children). But that's more of a reason to get fit so I can be more active and do my body right by being healthy.
I don't know about me posting what I eat as I know what I have to cut out. I know what I have to do and in order to do that, I just need to find that momentum and stick with it.
So watch out world! I will still be me, but a new looking me will be heading your way!!
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Nope.
I don't post on here anymore, because of a comment that was left by someone that made me rather irritated. Here's the post:
Julia,
I have read you blog and I find it to be a complete contradiction of your daily facebook posts! In this blog you have given off the feeling that you never vocalize any feelings and live like a hermit, however every hour of your life besides when you are sleeping you let everyone know what is going on with your day! You have used facebook to let everyone know if your happy, sad, watching a movie, eating, and so on! Now either you are letting everyone know on facebook how you really feel, or you are just posting that stuff on there so that people read it and hopefully pay attention to you! I'm curious to know which it actually is! It seems to me that this blog you wrote tonight is a "Feel Sorry for Me Blog". What you should be doing instead of having a pity party for yourself is to change what your unhappy about! Life is what you make it! So if you make life miserable you will end up that way! Be more daring as well it will help your mentality! Well good luck!!
Heather
Now, if they didn't know, I'm allowed to post whatever the hell I want in my blog/journal. And I wrote it, because that is what I was feeling. Wasn't meant to be a pity party, and for that fact, I haven't felt like updating this journal, because of that response. It aggravates me that people are so quick to judge what someone writes when they don't stop to think that this is actually how I was feeling at a certain time. So what if I update my facebook? Everyone updates their facebook. And people either pay attention to it or not, who gives a crap! Me posting about this comment as been a long time coming, because I really didn't want to blatantly expose this person, but I don't care anymore. If they want to make me feel like I can't express myself, then I will call them out on it. Isn't that what a blog is for?
Well, I will probably not be using this anymore and just updating my other blog that I've had longer than this one. So to "Heather", keep thinking what you want. But you don't know the real me and what goes on behind the facebook updates.
Peace.
Julia,
I have read you blog and I find it to be a complete contradiction of your daily facebook posts! In this blog you have given off the feeling that you never vocalize any feelings and live like a hermit, however every hour of your life besides when you are sleeping you let everyone know what is going on with your day! You have used facebook to let everyone know if your happy, sad, watching a movie, eating, and so on! Now either you are letting everyone know on facebook how you really feel, or you are just posting that stuff on there so that people read it and hopefully pay attention to you! I'm curious to know which it actually is! It seems to me that this blog you wrote tonight is a "Feel Sorry for Me Blog". What you should be doing instead of having a pity party for yourself is to change what your unhappy about! Life is what you make it! So if you make life miserable you will end up that way! Be more daring as well it will help your mentality! Well good luck!!
Heather
Now, if they didn't know, I'm allowed to post whatever the hell I want in my blog/journal. And I wrote it, because that is what I was feeling. Wasn't meant to be a pity party, and for that fact, I haven't felt like updating this journal, because of that response. It aggravates me that people are so quick to judge what someone writes when they don't stop to think that this is actually how I was feeling at a certain time. So what if I update my facebook? Everyone updates their facebook. And people either pay attention to it or not, who gives a crap! Me posting about this comment as been a long time coming, because I really didn't want to blatantly expose this person, but I don't care anymore. If they want to make me feel like I can't express myself, then I will call them out on it. Isn't that what a blog is for?
Well, I will probably not be using this anymore and just updating my other blog that I've had longer than this one. So to "Heather", keep thinking what you want. But you don't know the real me and what goes on behind the facebook updates.
Peace.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Weighing In...
I didn't know what I was getting myself into when I first stepped into Level 5 Gym in town. My sister had asked me to take the class with her (it's called Booty Fit Boot Camp), because, let's face it. Who really wants to go to a work out class by themselves with complete strangers watching you? You know what, after a few classes, I don't mind it that much anymore. I'm there for me. I'm there to better myself mind and body. The first time though, I was a bit nervous. I didn't know what to expect. Once I met Dave, I knew I was in good hands. He's funny, nice, and a great motivator. He doesn't PUSH you to do the work out. You go at your own pace and do what you can. The class is 45 minutes to an hour long. And you do each thing at one minute. Dave tells you what to do, and you do that for one minute. My trouble area is mainly my stomach. I haven't had a flat stomach since.....I can't even remember when. It's been a long while, and my struggle with weight has always been there.
Two years ago, I weighed in at 230lbs. This is the time I was still with my ex-fiancee. Where he had quit his job for a better one...the job he didn't get 'cause he never called them. He never left the house, and we would always get WaWa. That was the downfall. I ate a lot that summer. I gained all that weight, because he and I never did anything. I got tired of it. I was not happy. Everyone around me could see that I wasn't, but I didn't realize it til the end of that summer and broke off the engagement and had him move at the end of September. It wasn't until that November, that I knew I had to do something. My co-workers at work were doing Weight Watchers. And I wanted in. So I started. I changed my eating habits. I didn't stop at Wawa every day for a hoagie, or stop at McDonald's. No. I ate better than I have ever done. And in within four months I had lost 40lbs. I had never felt better about myself after that day. But the weight is still there.
A year and a half after losing that 40lbs, I'm still the same weight. A couple pounds less, but now I know what I need to do in order to get better. I know that me doing Booty Fit Boot Camp will definitely help. I'm on my way to being a better person. A more healthy person.
Please stay with me as I go on my journey...
Two years ago, I weighed in at 230lbs. This is the time I was still with my ex-fiancee. Where he had quit his job for a better one...the job he didn't get 'cause he never called them. He never left the house, and we would always get WaWa. That was the downfall. I ate a lot that summer. I gained all that weight, because he and I never did anything. I got tired of it. I was not happy. Everyone around me could see that I wasn't, but I didn't realize it til the end of that summer and broke off the engagement and had him move at the end of September. It wasn't until that November, that I knew I had to do something. My co-workers at work were doing Weight Watchers. And I wanted in. So I started. I changed my eating habits. I didn't stop at Wawa every day for a hoagie, or stop at McDonald's. No. I ate better than I have ever done. And in within four months I had lost 40lbs. I had never felt better about myself after that day. But the weight is still there.
A year and a half after losing that 40lbs, I'm still the same weight. A couple pounds less, but now I know what I need to do in order to get better. I know that me doing Booty Fit Boot Camp will definitely help. I'm on my way to being a better person. A more healthy person.
Please stay with me as I go on my journey...
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Things...
So much has transpired the past few days, weeks even. I've already talked about most of it all to people, and I'm grateful for people that have listened - you know who you are..
But there's someone I've been thinking about a lot lately. Someone that I've bee able to spend some time with. But I don't want this person to be just a friend. I want more than that with this person. I would rather not say the name of this person, since most know who it is. Would rather not say it if said person reads this - which is unlikely. Anyways. I smile at the thought of their smile. I love their laugh and how this person makes me feel. I know we all have dreams at night. But mine have become more vivid. And this person has made quite a few appearances. Right now though, we're just friends. As much as I would want to try and make it more...I don't know if it will happen. Or if it ever will... I want to say so much more, but I will have to physically write that down as to not give away whom this person is...
I've been told to just let it see where it goes. But there's that feeling in the pit of my stomach that says to say something, to give it a boost. But I've got nothing to say, really. I've been rejected before, and I don't think I want to do that again...especially with this person...
So, we'll see...
And if anyone guesses a name, the comment will be deleted.
But there's someone I've been thinking about a lot lately. Someone that I've bee able to spend some time with. But I don't want this person to be just a friend. I want more than that with this person. I would rather not say the name of this person, since most know who it is. Would rather not say it if said person reads this - which is unlikely. Anyways. I smile at the thought of their smile. I love their laugh and how this person makes me feel. I know we all have dreams at night. But mine have become more vivid. And this person has made quite a few appearances. Right now though, we're just friends. As much as I would want to try and make it more...I don't know if it will happen. Or if it ever will... I want to say so much more, but I will have to physically write that down as to not give away whom this person is...
I've been told to just let it see where it goes. But there's that feeling in the pit of my stomach that says to say something, to give it a boost. But I've got nothing to say, really. I've been rejected before, and I don't think I want to do that again...especially with this person...
So, we'll see...
And if anyone guesses a name, the comment will be deleted.
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